Silly Things I've Heard

I’ve heard some silly things from people since discovering my daughter is gifted.

I’m sure that most parents of gifted children have heard them. The myths and misinformation out there is mind boggling.

Sometimes teachers and school principals can be the ones to perpetuate the misconceptions and say the silly things.

I was surprised, at first, to learn that they too lack information and require an attitude change.

It can be difficult and frustrating to sit down with teachers and principals to discuss my daughter and her needs and be met with a less than enthusiastic attitude.

I hear the usual things like, there’s no money for gifted programs, the class is big and there are many students that are experiencing difficulties so...

Ah, the inclusive classroom. If you’ve read my page on inclusion you already know my thoughts on this. In theory good...in practice..Not so much.

I remember before my daughter started kindergarten. I was so excited to tell the teacher and principal that my daughter could read and was bright.

They were more or less unimpressed. They’ve heard it all before, but I never told it before.

What a disappointment that was. I was surprised at their attitude at the time. I’m not surprised by this anymore. I’m still disappointed and frustrated by the silly things I hear, but no longer surprised.

In grade one, during a meeting with the principal, I was trying to explain that she was very bored in math class and needed more challenging work. The response I was met with was “if you don’t hear from us everything is fine.”

But no, I protested, all is not fine, she’s bored. The reply, “if she was bored, she’d act out, if she acts out we’ll call you.”

When I left the office, I sat in my car and cried. What an eye-opening experience. That meeting was destined for the silliest thing I ever heard hall of fame.

It helped me to realize that we needed to get her tested by a psychologist so that we could have some concrete proof of just how bright she really was.

The following year before the start of grade two, with the tests result and recommendations from the psychologist in hand, I arranged to see the principal.

The psychologist had been very clear. My daughter was gifted and recommended grade acceleration.

I assumed that when I met with the principal it would be a smooth, no questions asked, done deal type of meeting. I mean, I had a psychologist advising us that my daughter needed to skip a grade.

Nope. I was instead met with things like “it will be difficult socially for her.” No, I insisted she’s mature for her age. The psychologist already addressed these issues in her report.

“Why don’t we give her extra work in grade two instead?” The principal suggested. No, the psychologist was clear. She needs to skip a grade.

Besides, in the past two years she was rarely given any challenging work. I was not going to be talked into it.

The principal could tell I was adamant. She called the psychologist, the school board, her grade one teacher, and finally on the day before school started we were told that she would be skipping grade two and going to grade three.

Needless to say, I am better prepared for the meetings I have with principals or teachers. I’ve had to learn that there are so many misconceptions about gifted children that need clarifying.

I never get used to the silly things I hear, but I am better prepared with a response to them.

More Information...

“You’re so lucky. You’ll never have to worry about her.”

Well, I am very fortunate. She is a wonderful, funny, beautiful 9 year old girl. And she is gifted.

So, she doesn't have trouble reading, or with math or academics at all. But she does get bored in class.

The repetition and waiting around for her classmates to finish their work, can be extremely difficult for her. Other parents just don’t get it.

But, I try to explain it when they ask. People need to know. Gifted children need to be challenged and not ignored.

One parent remarked, “she must not do well socially. She must get teased a lot?”

That question is up there with the silliest ones I've heard.

No, she does fine socially. She's still just a kid. She likes to play and have fun. She is easy going and gets along well with most everyone.

I sometimes feel the urge to ask "why do you say such silly things?"

Then there’s the parent that completely changes the subject after I mention that my daughter is gifted. I don’t go around mentioning her giftedness at random.

But when I’m with someone and they’re talking about their child and ask about mine, I don’t hesitate to mention it.

The next time someone says something silly, don’t just roll your eyes. Take the time to tell them what it’s like for a gifted child in the regular classroom.

Try to explain what it’s like to be ignored, or asked to be a little teacher in the classroom. Mention that the lack of challenging work is turning gifted children off school.

Remind them that these are our future leaders and they need some time, attention and money for more programs aimed at challenging them.

From Silly to Advocating