Bullying

Bullying is persistent bothering or physical harm done to another person.

It can include such things as teasing, put downs, intimidation, stealing, threatening, physical attacks, and being left out of the group.

There is an obvious difference between the bully and the victim. The aggressor tends to be more forceful and confident.

The victim tends to be vulnerable, shy and unwilling to fight back. They generally don't want to tell anyone about what's going on.

This is difficult for parents because they often assume their child would tell them if something bad was happening at school.

What Parents Can Do

This is why it is always a good idea to ask questions about what went on during their day.

It can really surprise some parents that their child is being bothered at school. It can also make you sad and frustrated.

You have so many questions and so few answers. How long has it been happening? Why didn't you find out sooner? How come the teachers or lunch hour supervisors didn't see it happening? What will the school do about it?

Who and Why?

Some research indicates that it is a myth that bullies lack confidence. Research shows they have average to above average self-esteem.

There is a difference in the way girls go about doing it. They tend to use things such as rumours and excluding other girls from their social circle.

The effects of this behaviour are widespread. The target tends to live in fear and be constantly on the look out for what may happen next. They tend not to strike back and this makes them easy targets for bullies.

What about Gifted Children?

In a study by Purdue University researchers, "they noted that by 8th grade two-thirds of gifted students had been victims of bullying."

Since one of the driving forces behind it is jealousy, it is not surprising that gifted children are victims.

There is also something known as the “poppy-head syndrome” where a teacher feels the need to cut down a gifted child to bring him to the level of others.

This is not always straightforward and obvious. Therefore, parents should try to be involved as much as possible, in the day to day school life of their child.

Obviously, if both parents work full time the amount of involved will be limited. In this situation, communication is key. Look for the signs and ask questions.

The Signs

If you see signs that your child has changed, start asking questions and listen as they talk about it.

If your child loved going to school and suddenly doesn't want to go, if they are suddenly nervous or their stuff is missing, these may be signs that something is going on.

Gifted children tend to be sensitive and are effected differently then others. They want to understand why it is happening and they can get frustrated and angry.

At School

At school, teachers, lunch hour supervisors, and administrators need to do more to identify it and make it stop. Schools that have more supervision on the playground and in the hallway, tend to have a better control over the situation.

If you suspect that your child is a target at school, talk with administrators and teachers as soon as possible and ask what they are doing to make it stop. They should have a zero tolerance policy.

The attitude towards bullying needs to be changed. It isn't simply "kids being kids".

Listen to and believe your child if they say someone is bothering them and take quick action.

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